What is the common way that wives can fear with regards to their husbands?—Is it not fear that your husband’s immature decisions or lack of decision making will supersede God’s sovereignty and surely lead you and your family into spiritual and physical destitution. In other words, it’s a fear that you are vulnerable in a state of constant danger and/or potential despair with no one to watch out for you and your family. That’s the kind of fear Peter is prohibiting in 1 Pet. 3:6.
The alternative to that fear is hoping in God and the barometer of how much a wife hopes in God is being convinced that she is in the best place possible when she is pleasing and obeying him. This is the only way to subdue the fear of the perceived consequences of submission.
Nevertheless, wives, you do not need to give up your desire for your husband to change, but you do need to crucify your expectation that he must change or you have no choice but to be fearful of what might happen. Moreover, do you really want your husband to change because you nagged him every day or because the Spirit convicted his heart through the Word? Which one is going to produce lasting change and even more importantly, which is going to give glory to God?
It comes down to this: Do you trust in the Lord’s timing and the Lord’s ways? Are you confident the Lord is committed to your family’s best interests? An affirmative answer will be shown in a wife’s pure and respectable behavior along with a gentle and quiet spirit. Women must realize that obeying in this area is going to take faith and it’s going to cost them something. Submission that honors Christ will require a surrender. That might be the desire, or perhaps demand, that your husband prove himself or even demonstrate love before you will submit. If that’s the case, here is the necessary question that is relevant to all Christians: Does Christ need to do anymore for you to prove himself worthy of your obedience to him? Pleasing Him is the highest honor and a Christian’s main ambition (2 Cor. 5:9).